Holy Lucky Neko, New Jersey, Learn to Frickin’ Drive!

So yesterday, Sunday, was a beautiful day. I drove down to visit meh mam and meh auxilery pah. We did not have much time to spend together which was a real bummer. I found out some disappointing things– the fine folks [read:heathen Neanderthals] who rented my mother’s house all but destroyed it. I can’t believe people sometimes… how do you stay in someone else’s house for 9 months and let it fall into shambles? WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!? *curb stomps the world*

Additionally, my cat of 13 years, Muggsy, sweet beloved thing, is apparently gone. The fine folks [read:inconsiderate cretins] probably scared him away or neglected to feed him, so it seems as though he’s moved on. I haven’t been able to be with the cat for a long time, and I’ve gotten used to being away from him, but still, he was my cat and I loved the shit out of him. I’m not so much upset that he’s not at the house, but that people would be cruel enough to let him disappear without telling anyone. Epic failure.

On the drive home last night, I think I technically died twice. Now no one panic. I still seem to be clining to life, and very much in one piece. However, some a-hole (pardon my colorful language, I’m rather peeved today) seemed to think YIELD meant, HIT THE CAR IN THE NEXT LANE, PLZ. This truck nearly, and somehow slowly, merged right into me. I had to swerve at the last second to the left lane of the highway, and, even though I was pretty sure I was going to collide with the SUV coming right behind from the left, by the grace of something, we narrowly missed by an inch, or probably less. Nothing. No impact. No horns blown (I never think to blow the horn, I don’t think it does any good when dealing with vehicular retards). Absolutely nothing. It was pretty frightening, but what was even more scary was that I came out of it unscathed. I was SO SURE that I was going to get hit, either from the right or the left. But nothing. Gees.

Now I was thinking, should I believe in God now? Should I be like, holy crud, I’m voting Republican now! God has saved my life! How can I be pro-choice now?!

And then I realized that had nothing to do with it and I laughed. Shakily, clinging to the relief of being alive and not a greasy smear on the side of someone’s sports utility truck, laughed. But I think it has opened my eyes.

I will probably now start to worship the concept of Luck. I was lucky that I moved perfectly the right distance to the left, and that by whatever skill, foresight, or magical powers the guy in the left lane had to NOT side swipe me as I veered into him (and not get pissed from what I could tell)… it could only have been Luck. Chaos. The whacked out order of the world. The thing that chooses the randomness that we think we can control, but can’t always. Fortune, I guess, good or bad.

Thank Luck for Luck, else I might be being pieced back together in a hospital today instead of going to work. Damn lucky too, since I’ve got a California trip coming at the end of the week. I hope I’m lucky enough to live that long.

As Seen On The Kitchen Counter

I never thought I’d give in to over-glorified, mile-a-minute infomercial blather, but I’ve finally caved in to purchasing the Magic Bullet. It’s not just the Magic Bullet, it’s the Original Magic Bullet. It’s every magic bullet’s grandaddy. Don’t get it twisted.

In all seriousness (I’ll try, honestly), yeah it’s one of those “As Seen on TV” products, meaning one in his or her right mind ought to steer clear of it. But by golly I am addicted to the smoothies at Wegmans… so fruity, so delicious, so peachy, so smooth… a 20 minute trip and a 5 dollar investment… I needed a do-it-yourself solution. We tried to go the smoothie route before but cleaning up and storing what was left in the huge blender was a pain in the butt. Plus I’m quite easily the worse cook/food handler on Earth, so making a big old pitcher full of purplish-gook and then realizing it was barely edible was a waste. So, the Magic Bullet not only saves time and space, but the environment too! (As in I produce less radioactive sludge before I realize it doesn’t taste very good and dump it into the sink or hock it back).

So I’ve only really used it thrice and I haven’t duplicated the wonder of Wegmans yet, but I shall persevere!

Time ain’t on my side, no it ain’t

Well greetings. If you’ve stumbled upon this blog, I welcome and salute your for your kind and charitable act. Basically, I will be dumping random sketches here, which you can of course probably see many other places such as DeviantArt, Furaffinity, my website, etc. Ah well, what’s the harm in littering cyberspace? As long as there ain’t a fine. There isn’t a fine… right?

Anyway, as the title clearly states, time is not on my side. I have a million projects that for some (insane) reason I’ve chosen to undertake despite the aforementioned lack of time to tackle them. So I will also be posting (read:ranting) about them here. That’s my pointless drivel and I’m sticking to it!

~Vilsy